Dieses kleine süße Kätzchen hat viel an diesem Tag erlebt und ist daher auch entsprechend müde aber irgendwie schafft sie es nicht mehr sich hinzulegen also schläft sie im stehen ein. Dieses Video ist einfach unglaublich niedlich anzuschauen und wird dir garantiert ein lächeln ins Gesicht zaubern und deinen Tag versüßen!
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Hallo, wer bist du denn? So süß reagieren Katzen auf Babys
Wen haben wir denn da? Dieses Video zeigt, was passiert, wenn Katzen zum ersten Mal auf Neugeborene treffen.
Der Moment, wenn man sein Neugeborenes zum ersten Mal mit nach Hause bringt, ist schon etwas ganz Besonderes! Noch aufregender wird es allerdings, wenn auch noch eine Katze zu Hause wartet, die den neuen Mitbewohner erst einmal kritisch ins Visier nimmt.
Während einige Katzen ziemlich skeptisch oder sogar ängstlich auf die Babys reagieren, entwickeln andere fast schon mütterliche Gefühle! Sie kuscheln und schmusen mit den Kleinen, als wären sie schon ewig beste Freunde. Ziemlich süß, oder?
10 of the Most Beautiful Cat Breed in the world
Dogs are widely known as man’s best friend, but cats definitely are not that far behind. Like dogs, cats also have different breeds. Each breed has their own distinctly different cultural and physical backgrounds, uniqueness, exquisite beauty and temperament.
In this article, Pet Setter will give you a shortlist of the most popular cat breed in the world. Let’s get to know these meows.
Persian
An ancient cat breed that originated in Iran; historically known as Persia—Persian hence the name for the breed. This cat is renowned for its long beautiful coat, silky fur, round head, big eyes, snub nose, squashed face, chubby cheeks, and a sturdy body. Its long flowing coat requires daily grooming and regular baths at least once a month—bathing should be introduced at an early stage.
An ancient cat breed that originated in Iran; historically known as Persia—Persian hence the name for the breed. This cat is renowned for its long beautiful coat, silky fur, round head, big eyes, snub nose, squashed face, chubby cheeks, and a sturdy body. Its long flowing coat requires daily grooming and regular baths at least once a month—bathing should be introduced at an early stage.
Maine Coon
Spectacularly large! This breed is enormous and one of the larger cats in the world and can weigh up to 25 lbs. The Maine Coon cat have a thick water-resistant coat, oversized paws that act like snow shoes and long, shaggy tails. This breed is native to Maine, USA and also their official state cat since 1985. Maine Coon is similar to a Great Dane—a gentle giant, gets along well with children and other pets.
Spectacularly large! This breed is enormous and one of the larger cats in the world and can weigh up to 25 lbs. The Maine Coon cat have a thick water-resistant coat, oversized paws that act like snow shoes and long, shaggy tails. This breed is native to Maine, USA and also their official state cat since 1985. Maine Coon is similar to a Great Dane—a gentle giant, gets along well with children and other pets.
Did you know? It was a Maine Coon cat who played the role of Mrs. Norris in the Harry Potter film. Both Mrs. Norris and Maine Coon cats are known for their intelligence.
Exotic Shorthair
This breed is a short-haired version of a Persian – having similar temperament to its long-haired cousin. Exotic Shorthairs are a bit livelier and inquisitive at the same time quiet and possesses an endearing nature. Their voices are seldom heard. Exotic shorthair’s appearance is akin to a cute teddy bear than a cat. Their wonderful coat requires much less combing than a Persian’s. This breed is a great choice for someone who wants a Persian, but does not have the time or desire to devote to grooming.
This breed is a short-haired version of a Persian – having similar temperament to its long-haired cousin. Exotic Shorthairs are a bit livelier and inquisitive at the same time quiet and possesses an endearing nature. Their voices are seldom heard. Exotic shorthair’s appearance is akin to a cute teddy bear than a cat. Their wonderful coat requires much less combing than a Persian’s. This breed is a great choice for someone who wants a Persian, but does not have the time or desire to devote to grooming.
Abyssinian
Resembles an ancient Egyptian cat, the Abyssinian is one of the smartest cat breeds in the world. In fact it is being considered as a border collie in the cat world because of their endurance and high intelligence. This breed is ranked as one of the top 5 popular cat breeds in the US and known for its distinctive “ticked” tabby coat—giving them the appearance of a wildcat. Abyssinians are not lap cats, they are infinitely curious, loves to play, roam and wander.
Resembles an ancient Egyptian cat, the Abyssinian is one of the smartest cat breeds in the world. In fact it is being considered as a border collie in the cat world because of their endurance and high intelligence. This breed is ranked as one of the top 5 popular cat breeds in the US and known for its distinctive “ticked” tabby coat—giving them the appearance of a wildcat. Abyssinians are not lap cats, they are infinitely curious, loves to play, roam and wander.
Siamese
Vocal and demanding, their mews vocalization sound is identical to the cry of a human baby. The Siamese is a clever, active cat and is known for their eagerness to play fetch and walk on a leash. Siamese comes in multi-colour points: seal, chocolate, blue, and lilac — dark patches on the face, ears, paws and tail. This cat makes an ideal companion; they love to be around their chosen human and tend to share your pillow during bedtime.
Vocal and demanding, their mews vocalization sound is identical to the cry of a human baby. The Siamese is a clever, active cat and is known for their eagerness to play fetch and walk on a leash. Siamese comes in multi-colour points: seal, chocolate, blue, and lilac — dark patches on the face, ears, paws and tail. This cat makes an ideal companion; they love to be around their chosen human and tend to share your pillow during bedtime.
Ragdoll
When lifted, this cat will literally go limp, with relaxed muscles. The Ragdoll is best known for its good-natured temperament and for being affectionate. This cat is largely similar to a maine coon, and is approximately three times the size of a regular domestic cat. The ragdoll has intense blue eyes in oval shape, and also has a distinctive colour point coat.
When lifted, this cat will literally go limp, with relaxed muscles. The Ragdoll is best known for its good-natured temperament and for being affectionate. This cat is largely similar to a maine coon, and is approximately three times the size of a regular domestic cat. The ragdoll has intense blue eyes in oval shape, and also has a distinctive colour point coat.
Sphynx
A wrinkled face and body, lack of fur, large ears and a big oval-shaped lemon eyes – I am not discussing about extra terrestrials, but a sphynx! A medium size cat that weighs 6 to 12 pounds, the Sphynx is cuddly, affectionate and energetic, inquisitive and loves to be the centre of attention. But you have to be extra careful letting a Sphynx outside – this cat is very sensitive to the sun.
A wrinkled face and body, lack of fur, large ears and a big oval-shaped lemon eyes – I am not discussing about extra terrestrials, but a sphynx! A medium size cat that weighs 6 to 12 pounds, the Sphynx is cuddly, affectionate and energetic, inquisitive and loves to be the centre of attention. But you have to be extra careful letting a Sphynx outside – this cat is very sensitive to the sun.
Birman
Renowned for its striking appearance and beautiful sapphire-blue eyes, the Birman also known the Sacred Cat of Burma, is a gentle and very friendly cat that loves to play. This cat has colour points on its ears, face, legs and tail, and a white boot pattern on all paws that looks like gloves and laces. This breed of cat is a perfect choice for families with children and cat-friendly dogs.
Renowned for its striking appearance and beautiful sapphire-blue eyes, the Birman also known the Sacred Cat of Burma, is a gentle and very friendly cat that loves to play. This cat has colour points on its ears, face, legs and tail, and a white boot pattern on all paws that looks like gloves and laces. This breed of cat is a perfect choice for families with children and cat-friendly dogs.
American Shorthair
Smart, healthy and a fine hunter, the American shorthair has a large, powerfully-built body, short pointed ears, round broad head, muscular compact body and naturally short hair. This type ofcat breed is very easy going and is great with children, plus they usually get along well with dogs and other pets. American shorthair loves to spend time with their human family and do enjoys playing – with both humans and toys.
Smart, healthy and a fine hunter, the American shorthair has a large, powerfully-built body, short pointed ears, round broad head, muscular compact body and naturally short hair. This type ofcat breed is very easy going and is great with children, plus they usually get along well with dogs and other pets. American shorthair loves to spend time with their human family and do enjoys playing – with both humans and toys.
Oriental
A distinctive dog like personality, the Oriental is an offshoot of the Siamese. This cat has sleek body that can grow up to 3 feet long. Their narrow face is heart shaped with gorgeous green eyes and large goblin like ears. A fun-loving cat that’s into everything and anything, but they can get cranky or depressed if left alone.
A distinctive dog like personality, the Oriental is an offshoot of the Siamese. This cat has sleek body that can grow up to 3 feet long. Their narrow face is heart shaped with gorgeous green eyes and large goblin like ears. A fun-loving cat that’s into everything and anything, but they can get cranky or depressed if left alone.
Cats largely differ from dogs from temperament among other things but both are suitable pets. Similarly, no two cats are ever alike. We need to respect those differences and honour cats for being their own unique selves. It is up to human beings to earn the respect of their pets through devotion. Once earned, it will always be reciprocated. There is no greater and unconditional love than that of your pets.
Die schönsten Hunde der Welt 2015
Herkunftsland:
Grossbritannien
Grossbritannien
FCI-Nummer:
3.4./ 86
3.4./ 86
Schulterhöhe:
Rüden und Hündinnen: 22 – 24 cm
Rüden und Hündinnen: 22 – 24 cm
Gewicht:
2,4 bis 3,1 kg
2,4 bis 3,1 kg
Farben:
Dunkles Stahlblau am Körper, keinesfalls vermischt mit falbfarbenem, bronzefarbenem oder dunklem Haar. Das Haarkleid an der Brust hat ein volles, helles Tan. Die Haare werden zur Spitze hin heller.
Dunkles Stahlblau am Körper, keinesfalls vermischt mit falbfarbenem, bronzefarbenem oder dunklem Haar. Das Haarkleid an der Brust hat ein volles, helles Tan. Die Haare werden zur Spitze hin heller.
Fell:
gerades, langes, sehr feines, glänzendes Haar. Es benötigt viel Pflege.
gerades, langes, sehr feines, glänzendes Haar. Es benötigt viel Pflege.
Verwendung:
Gesellschafts- und Begleithund
Gesellschafts- und Begleithund
Anzeige:
Wesen/Erziehung:
Der Yorkshire Terrier ist ein lebhafter, intelligenter und mutiger Hund. Er braucht engen Kontakt zu seinen Menschen und ist anhänglich und treu, jedoch bewart er dabei auch seinen eigenen Charakter. Der Yorkie ist durchaus wachsam.
Der Yorkshire Terrier ist ein lebhafter, intelligenter und mutiger Hund. Er braucht engen Kontakt zu seinen Menschen und ist anhänglich und treu, jedoch bewart er dabei auch seinen eigenen Charakter. Der Yorkie ist durchaus wachsam.
Haltung:
Dieser Zwergterrier kann aufgrund seiner Größe auch problemlos in einer Stadtwohnung gehalten werden. Er braucht seinen täglichen Auslauf und liebt Abwechslung.
Dieser Zwergterrier kann aufgrund seiner Größe auch problemlos in einer Stadtwohnung gehalten werden. Er braucht seinen täglichen Auslauf und liebt Abwechslung.
häufige Krankheiten:
– Patella-Luxation
– Cushing Syndrom
– Patella-Luxation
– Cushing Syndrom
#Galerie:
Rezept Spaghetti alla bolognese
Zutaten
Zubereitung
Portionen: 4
- 250-300 g Faschiertes
- 1/2 Dose Tomaten
- 1 kleines Glas Sugo
- 1/2 Stk. Karotte
- 1/2 Stk. Zwiebel
- 2 Zehen Knoblauch
- 2-3 EL Olivenöl
- 1 TL Oregano
- Salz
- Pfeffer
- Parmesan (zum Bestreuen)
- 400 g Nudeln (Spaghetti, Penne, Pappardelle, Tagliatelle, o.ä.)
Zuerst die Karotte putzen oder schälen und sie auf einer Reibe raspeln oder in sehr feine Streifen schneiden. Knoblauch und Zwiebel schälen und beides in sehr feine Würfel schneiden. Die Dosentomaten in einen Suppenteller gießen, einige Male durch schneiden und mit den Fingern ob sich auch kein Stielansatz mehr darin verirrt hat.
In einem Topf etwas Olivenöl heiß werden lassen. Die Zwiebeln gemeinsam mit den Karotten zu geben und alles 2–3 Minuten bei nicht zu großer Hitze andünsten lassen.
Dann den Knoblauch dazu geben und gleich darauf das Faschierte. Das Faschierte zerbröselt man am besten gleich beim Hineingeben zwischen den Fingern und zertrennt es dann mit dem Kochlöffel in möglichst kleine Stückchen. Nun röstet man das Fleisch unter kräftigem Rühren so lange an, bis es
rundum angebraten ist.
Dann den Knoblauch dazu geben und gleich darauf das Faschierte. Das Faschierte zerbröselt man am besten gleich beim Hineingeben zwischen den Fingern und zertrennt es dann mit dem Kochlöffel in möglichst kleine Stückchen. Nun röstet man das Fleisch unter kräftigem Rühren so lange an, bis es
rundum angebraten ist.
Fertigsugo sowie die Tomaten in den Topf geben. Kräftig mit Salz sowie Pfeffer würzen und alles zugedeckt ca. 15 Minuten bei nicht zu großer Hitze vor sich hinköcheln lassen. Dabei wiederholt umrühren, damit sich nichts anlegt. Wird das Sugo zu trocken, so gießt man noch etwas Tomatensaft oder einen Schuss Rotwein dazu.
Währenddessen in einem größeren Topf reichlich Salzwasser zum Kochen bringen und die Spaghetti nach Packungs-Anleitung (meist 8–12 Minuten) al dente kochen.
Den Oregano unter das Sugo rühren, nochmals abschmecken und die fertig gekochten Spaghetti in ein Sieb gießen. Das Sieb einige Male schütteln, damit die Spaghetti gut abtropfen können und in einem Suppenteller anrichten. Jeweils einen Schöpflöffel Sugo darauf geben und frisch gehobelten oder bereits geriebenen Parmesan darüber streuen.
Den Oregano unter das Sugo rühren, nochmals abschmecken und die fertig gekochten Spaghetti in ein Sieb gießen. Das Sieb einige Male schütteln, damit die Spaghetti gut abtropfen können und in einem Suppenteller anrichten. Jeweils einen Schöpflöffel Sugo darauf geben und frisch gehobelten oder bereits geriebenen Parmesan darüber streuen.
Tipp
Nix al dente: Was machen Sie, wenn Sie Ihre Nudeln versehentlich zahnlos weich gekocht habe?
Kein Problem, machen Sie eine Art Frittata. Dafür vermengen Sie in einer Schüssel die missratenen Nudeln mit 3–4 verrührten Eiern, einem Schuss Milch, frischen Kräutern und vorrätigem klein geschnittenen gegarten Gemüse (oder auch Fleisch) und würzen es kräftig mit Salz und Pfeffer. Dann backen Sie die Masse in einer Pfanne in heißem Öl auf beiden Seiten knusprig. Dazu gibt’s am besten
Salat und ein Glas Rotwein als kleines Trostpflaster.
Kein Problem, machen Sie eine Art Frittata. Dafür vermengen Sie in einer Schüssel die missratenen Nudeln mit 3–4 verrührten Eiern, einem Schuss Milch, frischen Kräutern und vorrätigem klein geschnittenen gegarten Gemüse (oder auch Fleisch) und würzen es kräftig mit Salz und Pfeffer. Dann backen Sie die Masse in einer Pfanne in heißem Öl auf beiden Seiten knusprig. Dazu gibt’s am besten
Salat und ein Glas Rotwein als kleines Trostpflaster.
How to learn english easily and quickly
1. Join Online Forums That Use English
Joining an online forum means you can interact with native English speakers. It also gives you a chance to practice your English outside the classroom without leaving the comfort of your own home.
Some tips:
- If you are nervous about people finding out, make an anonymous profile.
- Find forums that have topics you are interested in. If you are unsure, think of your hobbies and interests: perhaps photography, traveling, TV shows, movies, or cooking? The more you are interested in something, the more likely you will be motivated to participate in the forums.
- Start off by reading on-going discussions. After 2 or 3 weeks try to answer some questions that other people post and contribute to the discussions. You can even post your own questions in the forums and respond to answers you get.
2. Read Texts Out Loud
Reading fluency is simply the ability to read a book or text clearly. You correct your pronunciation mistakes until you make no errors.
The more you practice fluency, the more confidence you will have because it gives you a safe environment to practise in, increase your reading speed, and to process words faster.
If you are nervous about speaking in front of others, start reading aloud by yourself at home. As you feel more confident, ask a teacher or a native English speaker to give you feedback on more advanced vocabulary.
How to start:
- Choose a text that is approximately 75-200 words long. Pick something that you think you can read easily, such as a book from one of your English classes, or even a book recommended by a friend.
- Ask your teacher or someone you know with excellent English if they can read the text out loud while you record them. You can also choose a clip from a movie or TV show to practice with if you prefer.
- Listen along to the recording while reading the text at the same time.
- Practice reading with the recording until you are confident.
- Record your own voice. Listen and compare.
- Find another text to read and repeat the first 5 steps.
You can develop your fluency by reading even for only 5 or 10 minutes a day at your own pace, and on whatever topic interests you the most ( I don’t recommend Shakespeare!).
3. Make Friends with English Speaking Expats
The more you practice, the more you will gain confidence in your English speaking abilities. An excellent way to practice English (and enjoy it!) is to make friends with people who only speak English.
You are then forced to speak with them in English, instead of relying on your native language. Friends are not there to judge you and your English skills. All they want is to meet new people in the local area.
Suggestions on how to make English speaking friends:
- Join professional networking groups, or places that host international events such as international cinema nights, or clubs and bars. Many of these will have a mixture of local and expatriates.
- Find expat websites in your area. To get you started, you can find some here and here. Many will post profiles and even offer language exchange sessions. You can teach them your native language and they will be happy to help you practice your English.
- Post a profile on an expat website offering language exchange services, or why not post some useful advice for people who just arrived in your local area.
4. Trust Your Teacher
If you are following a course, remember that your teacher is there to create a safe environment for you to learn from your mistakes.
Yes, mistakes are good!
Making mistakes is very important because you can see which areas you need to work on. The key is to try not to make the same mistake twice.
No one is there to make fun of you. You can be certain that your teacher is working hard to ensure that you reach your full potential.
Your teacher is also there to celebrate your accomplishments. They want to encourage you to continue practicing, and will tell you what you are doing right.
If you want to feel more comfortable in class, try to get to know your teacher better. It is ok to ask personal questions such as their hobbies or why they decided to become a teacher. If you share information about yourself you will feel more comfortable sharing your frustrations about learning English.
5. Work in Groups of Five or Smaller
Many people get very nervous if they have to speak in front of large audiences. Try speaking English to others in smaller groups to build up your confidence.
Share mistakes or stories of miscommunication with each other. The more you laugh off how funny these types of mistakes these are, the less you’ll feel scared.
How to find small groups to work with:
- Find a school, a local community centre, college or library that offers conversation classes.
- If you are already enrolled in a course, ask your teacher if he or she can arrange the participants to work in small groups.
- Ask a few participants in your course if they want to practice outside of class. Some suggestions can include during lunch times, after work, or during the weekend.
- You can start your own group by posting an ad on a notice board in your office or your local library , on Craigslist or your favourite classifieds website.
- Join existing conversation clubs in your local area
6. Join Online Conversation Groups
There are hundreds of language conversation groups online. These websites are a great option because you are able to converse with a native or near-native English speaker right in the comfort of your own home.
All you need to do is set up a profile, the hours you are available, and how someone can contact you.
Programs such as Skype or Google Talk are great options to consider as many people around the world already use these programs. Some websites have live chat programs which make it easy for you to interact with many people online.
To make the most effective use of your time, determine a topic before actually meeting up. You can prepare by looking up related vocabulary or any questions you want to ask. Don’t forget to relax and enjoy the experience.
To start, here’s a list of conversation groups on Skype (log in required). Go ahead and choose one now – we’ll wait for you…
Don’t put too much pressure on yourself. If you enjoy it, you will most likely return in the future.
7. Don’t go Overboard
The faster you try to learn English, the more pressure you will put on yourself. The key is to ease into learning English with less pressure .You will feel less nervous when you make mistakes (and remember, mistakes are good!).
Tips:
- Break your goal down into smaller steps. For example, if you want to learn 100 new words each month, can you focus on learning 25 new words a week? Does it sound easier if you focus on learning 5 new words a day?
- Change your goals if you need to. If you find that you are too busy to read a book in English every month, for example, you can focus on reading two small newspaper articles. Every couple of weeks, re-evaluate your goals to see if you need to increase or decrease the amount of reading you do.
8. Avoid Procrastinating
It is natural to procrastinate, especially if you don’t feel completely certain about what you are doing.
3 ways to stop procrastinating:
- Schedule when you will practice English. Tell your friends and family your schedule and have them ask you at the end of every week what you have learned. Peer pressure can be a great motivator because knowing that others will check up on your progress really drives you to learn (or explain why you didn’t!).
- Reward yourself at the end of every week that you stick to your study schedule. This will motivate you by giving you something tangible to look forward to whenever you don’t feel like practicing English.
- Have a partner who is also studying English. Tell them your goals and they do the same with their goals. At the end of the week or month, tell them how much you have progressed. You can even share your frustrations with your partner and give each other suggestions and tips. A problem shared is a problem halved!
9. Remember Why You Want to Learn English
It is natural to feel frustrated if you are not confident that you are progressing. Whenever you feel this way, it is important to remind yourself of why you started learning English.
However, don’t rely on an external goal to motivate yourself. Rather, you need to find out why you want to learn English for yourself.
For example, you want to improve your English because of your career. So you can get that promotion you’ve always wanted. You want that promotion so you can get a larger salary and be able to afford your child’s university tuition…
What’s your motivation for learning English?
Tips:
- Make it visual: write down your goal in English and in your native language. Add photos of every goal you have, such as a photo of your family, a holiday, or a photo of you at the boardroom table, or a logo of a company you would like to work for, or the flag of the country you would like to live in. Put this (you can make as many as you like) where you will see it the most often – on the fridge, beside your computer, or beside your bathroom mirror. Every time you see it, read the phrase out loud and reflect on your goal.
- Set constant reminders: something as easy as setting reminders every day on your mobile phone or Outlook will help. The key is to constantly be reminded and think about your goal.
Now it’s Your Turn!
If you follow through with these 9 tips, within 2 or 3 months you will notice a big difference in your confidence and fluency.
You will want to share what you have learned with your friends and family. Your increased confidence might even earn you that promotion you have dreamed of, or make some great English speaking friends.
Start by picking the 3 tips that you think you can implement today. Print out this article and put it where you will see it often. Set reminders every week to review the tips in this article and how you can apply them.
So which 3 tips have you chosen? Do you have any other tips? Why not tell us in the comments below, we’d love to hear from you!
10 Things never to say to a woman
There are few guarantees in life, but this much we can say with certainty: The sun rises in the east, death comes to us all, and you will -- at one time or another -- suddenly find yourself in the midst of a blazing fight with your girlfriend without even realizing it.
Many of us have been there. One minute you're having a conversation, maybe a minor argument, but that's OK; it's all under control. Then you say something -- a word or passing comment, something relatively harmless, or so you think -- and it sets her off. As soon as it leaves your lips, the air changes, and there's no easy way back.
There are some things men should never say to their women -- conversational land mines that appear insignificant on the face of it, but are anything but. The good news is that we know, for the most part, what they are. Many men have suffered before you. It would be wise to heed their counsel.
1. "Are you really going to eat all that?"
Your girlfriend is, by definition, as light as a feather and nimble as a ballerina. To so much as whisper a hint of the notion that she might be, you know, otherwise, is to risk paying a price as heavy as you suspect her to be. In fact, avoid the topic of food altogether if you can. Eating is an emotional, often obsessive business for women, and occasionally it's an actual disorder. It's tied up with their identity, their self-image, their fantasies. So the answer is, yes, she's really going to eat all that. All that ballet must have given her an appetite.
2. "B*tch"
The B word is like the N word: Unless you've been appropriately oppressed, you don't get to use it. You might be able to pull off an ironic Snoop Dogg-style "beeeyatch," so long as you're smiling as you say it. But to say "b*tch" with any kind of intent is to pull the pin out of a grenade.
3. "My ex used to ... "
Anything you say with the words "my ex" in it will be held against you in a court of law, as it should. Of course it's natural to compare your girlfriends, but keep it to yourself. There are inside thoughts and outside thoughts. This belongs firmly to the former category.
4. "You always do that"
One sure way to escalate a minor tiff into a nuclear showdown is to use words like "never" and "always." They're too sweeping to be true, so you'll not only upset her, but also give her the opportunity to prove you wrong and seize the higher ground. And it tends to drag every other argument you've had into your present one, which is like rehashing all the worst parts of your relationship all at once.
5. "You sound just like your mother"
Don't compare her to her mother. Or her sister, for that matter. You don't know those people like she does, and you don't know the full complexity of their relationships. And anyway, everyone wants an independent identity, separate and distinct from their family members.
6. "Yeah, she's hot"
Chances are she lured you in with an innocent question, like, "Do you think she's cute?" shrugging her shoulders like it wouldn't matter either way. But don't be fooled. You must lie quickly and reflexively. Whether it's a girl in a magazine, a Facebook friend, a waitress -- whoever -- the answer is always no. In fact, you win extra points for casually finding fault in her the closer you look. Watch your girlfriend light up as you say, "Is it me, or is her nose a bit weird?"
7. "What's up with your hair?"
Her hair looks great and it suits her perfectly. She's allowed to have a bad hair day, but you're not allowed to notice. For girls, hair isn't just hair.
8. "Relax"
The thing about "relax" is it dramatically reduces the chances of her relaxing. The same goes for "chill" and "calm down." Here's an alternative: "I can see how you would feel that way." It takes a Zen master to actually use it in the heat of combat, but it's there if you need it.
9. "Is this your time of the month?"
Even if it is, you're not to mention it. Your role is to pretend that her menstrual cycle has no effect on her tendency to shriek and stamp and then burst into tears for no reason whatsoever. In this matter, you must occupy the high ground and show pity. Indulge her delusion that she is not in fact deranged by hormones and that she's making a valid point. The moment will pass.
10. "I love you"
I know what you're thinking. This is supposed to be the magic pill, the cure-all, the instant fix. But the thing about the L word is that it sends women into a heightened sense of awareness. As soon as they hear it, they can tell whether or not you mean it. Misuse the force and it may destroy you. Or as the saying goes, if you play with fire, you might get slapped in the middle of a restaurant.
Many of us have been there. One minute you're having a conversation, maybe a minor argument, but that's OK; it's all under control. Then you say something -- a word or passing comment, something relatively harmless, or so you think -- and it sets her off. As soon as it leaves your lips, the air changes, and there's no easy way back.
There are some things men should never say to their women -- conversational land mines that appear insignificant on the face of it, but are anything but. The good news is that we know, for the most part, what they are. Many men have suffered before you. It would be wise to heed their counsel.
1. "Are you really going to eat all that?"
Your girlfriend is, by definition, as light as a feather and nimble as a ballerina. To so much as whisper a hint of the notion that she might be, you know, otherwise, is to risk paying a price as heavy as you suspect her to be. In fact, avoid the topic of food altogether if you can. Eating is an emotional, often obsessive business for women, and occasionally it's an actual disorder. It's tied up with their identity, their self-image, their fantasies. So the answer is, yes, she's really going to eat all that. All that ballet must have given her an appetite.
2. "B*tch"
The B word is like the N word: Unless you've been appropriately oppressed, you don't get to use it. You might be able to pull off an ironic Snoop Dogg-style "beeeyatch," so long as you're smiling as you say it. But to say "b*tch" with any kind of intent is to pull the pin out of a grenade.
3. "My ex used to ... "
Anything you say with the words "my ex" in it will be held against you in a court of law, as it should. Of course it's natural to compare your girlfriends, but keep it to yourself. There are inside thoughts and outside thoughts. This belongs firmly to the former category.
4. "You always do that"
One sure way to escalate a minor tiff into a nuclear showdown is to use words like "never" and "always." They're too sweeping to be true, so you'll not only upset her, but also give her the opportunity to prove you wrong and seize the higher ground. And it tends to drag every other argument you've had into your present one, which is like rehashing all the worst parts of your relationship all at once.
5. "You sound just like your mother"
Don't compare her to her mother. Or her sister, for that matter. You don't know those people like she does, and you don't know the full complexity of their relationships. And anyway, everyone wants an independent identity, separate and distinct from their family members.
6. "Yeah, she's hot"
Chances are she lured you in with an innocent question, like, "Do you think she's cute?" shrugging her shoulders like it wouldn't matter either way. But don't be fooled. You must lie quickly and reflexively. Whether it's a girl in a magazine, a Facebook friend, a waitress -- whoever -- the answer is always no. In fact, you win extra points for casually finding fault in her the closer you look. Watch your girlfriend light up as you say, "Is it me, or is her nose a bit weird?"
7. "What's up with your hair?"
Her hair looks great and it suits her perfectly. She's allowed to have a bad hair day, but you're not allowed to notice. For girls, hair isn't just hair.
8. "Relax"
The thing about "relax" is it dramatically reduces the chances of her relaxing. The same goes for "chill" and "calm down." Here's an alternative: "I can see how you would feel that way." It takes a Zen master to actually use it in the heat of combat, but it's there if you need it.
9. "Is this your time of the month?"
Even if it is, you're not to mention it. Your role is to pretend that her menstrual cycle has no effect on her tendency to shriek and stamp and then burst into tears for no reason whatsoever. In this matter, you must occupy the high ground and show pity. Indulge her delusion that she is not in fact deranged by hormones and that she's making a valid point. The moment will pass.
10. "I love you"
I know what you're thinking. This is supposed to be the magic pill, the cure-all, the instant fix. But the thing about the L word is that it sends women into a heightened sense of awareness. As soon as they hear it, they can tell whether or not you mean it. Misuse the force and it may destroy you. Or as the saying goes, if you play with fire, you might get slapped in the middle of a restaurant.
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